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Distractions - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Distractions
I suppose if my father has to go through this torment -- the trips to the hospital, the doubts raised by conflicting medical reports -- it's good that he can come home to a surfeit of college basketball games and someone to watch them with who matches his level of interest.

I know that it helps me to be that someone, even if I sometimes feel like I'm succumbing to televisual overload. But I'm too paralyzed with tension to do much else. I find myself leaving the set on long after he heads to bed simply because I can't achieve the mental and physical conditions necessary to pursue other activities. I'd like to make myself sleepy by reading on the sofa where I spend the night, but there's no light there and the ordered clutter of the surrounding living room -- my father has many piles of papers around his chair right now -- would make it very hard for me to concentrate if there were. That's why I'm typing this entry out on my phone while half-watching my sixth game of the day.
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Comments
batdina From: batdina Date: March 12th, 2010 05:42 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Hang in there Charlie. We're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers every day.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: March 12th, 2010 02:34 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I can feel that. Thank you both so much.
duccio From: duccio Date: March 12th, 2010 06:02 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I ditto the first commenter. I've been through this with my parents and I know what you are going through.
Take care of yourself first. You won't be much good to anybody else if you fall apart. The piles of papers around is not a good sign. Maybe try and see if your dad is coping with the day to day affairs. The piles of papers would suggest something is amiss. That was my first inkling that my mom was stating to lose it. Good luck, and take care.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: March 12th, 2010 02:35 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It's very hard, yes. Luckily, the piles of papers are normal. They are very organized, despite being all over the place. He doesn't have an office at home and works in the living room.
alsoname From: alsoname Date: March 12th, 2010 06:31 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Good luck.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: March 12th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Thanks.
e4q From: e4q Date: March 12th, 2010 08:58 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
ah, crap. i suppose i can't even send you a heartwarming picture of pandas or something?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: March 12th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I love your pictures! You make me so much happier.
e4q From: e4q Date: March 12th, 2010 04:19 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
i wish you could see my posts while you are away. as you know 'my tumblr brings all the boys from the yard'.

i seem to be rediscovering my own visual vocabulary through playing with tumblr, savign regrouping and posting images over and over until i can see a sliver of what is mine to make and offer. i feel less mute. now i have a good camera i want to begin to document some of my own back catalogue and bring that into the mix. maybe one day generating a new body of work...
elizabeg From: elizabeg Date: March 12th, 2010 06:06 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I'm thinking of all of you. I'm glad you can be there with your father right now. Remember to take care of yourself too.
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