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Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
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Worst of All Possible Worlds
Usually the pollen count here has diminished sharply by the time the hot, dry winds of late spring start to blow through Tucson. But this year winter lasted longer than usual and the mesquites and palo verdes are still in flower right now. And that means that my allergies are astonishingly bad. I'm taking steroids for both my nose and lungs. I'm alternating Claritin and Benadryl. But even with that personality-altering cocktail in my system, I keep having mild asthma attacks and, what's worse, the states of panic that accompany them. I never thought I'd wish for June to speed its arrival.

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Current Location: 85704

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Big Deal
I threw a bunch of things away while organizing the garage today, including outdated -- and largely toxin-free -- electronic paraphernalia of the sort that I never discard. Also, I considered becoming a Republican for a brief moment. And giving up meat. Needless to say, I'm highly unlikely to go that far in the course of my renaissance self-refashioning. But I'm encouraged by the daring in my musings.

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Current Location: 85704

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The Last Week
Monday, the doctoral student I advise passed his qualifying exam with the proverbial flying colors, using the techniques I imparted to him to excellent effect. Tuesday, another advisee passed her M.A. exam. She also made good use of my advice on how to handle the pressure of the event. Wednesday, I spent the five hours before teaching meeting with a series of students I mentor, all of whom had produced better thinking than I would have expected when I first encountered them. Thursday, I held office hours all day after getting up at 5am, managing not to lose the thread of my ritual advice-giving. And today, Friday, the two students whose Honors theses I directed this semester presented their work at the Department's end-of-year reception to much acclaim while a third student, who had delayed turning in her thesis from last spring, came to see me, pleased that I'd continued to work with her during a difficult time and relieved to have finally completed the requirements for her degree. I'm exhausted, but also proud of the work my students have done and, a rarity for me, of the work I did helping them to realize their potential.

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Current Location: 85704
Muse: "It takes strength to be gentle and kind. . ."

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Midnight at Eight
Here's my version of a traditional central Italian "midnight snack" pasta:
• Cook spaghetti until toothily al dente, then tossing with a little olive oil after it has been rinsed off and transferred to a bowl
• While the pasta is cooking, begin simmering anchovies -- I used two standard-sized cans -- in olive oil
• Add crushed red pepper and garlic to taste
• As the mixture starts to thicken to the point of not sliding easily across the bottom of the man, add a little white wine to deglaze it, turning down the heat until the sauce is barely bubbling
• Toss in a few handfuls of raisins and about half as many capers
• Add the juice of two lemons
• As the sauce thickens to the consistency you desire, grate pecorino romano cheese
• Once everything is done, sprinkle the cheese over the pasta liberally, then toss with the anchovy-raisin-caper sauce
• Try not to eat as much as I did tonight
Although the combination of salty, sweet and sour flavors might not seem like a good match for the cheese to some, I was overwhelmed by the heady savor of the combination.

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Current Location: 85704
Muse: a memory of the aria from La Wally that is featured in Diva

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The Proper Perspective
In office hours today, a student -- one of my best students, I should add -- extended belated good wishes for my birthday and the offered a word of consolation: "At least you're not fifty!" I laughed. But I was greatly moved by the greetings many of you sent me yesterday, so thank you.

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Current Location: 85704

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The $48 Man
I've only been riding the bike again for a week or so, but I could already tell the difference when I played two-and-a-half hours of one-on-one basketball today. My knee was still balky, but I had improved lateral stability on spin moves and seemed to be getting off the ground more quickly as well. I'm sure the last few months of jogging and bouncing on the mini-trampoline also played a role. But it seemed to take the bike riding to realize the improvements they promised.

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Current Location: 85704

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Time To Hyde
Until the wind dies down and the trees that flowered late this year have stopped inviting bees in for a visit, I will be abiding in a state that is proximate to "going postal." So, please, if I lash out at you -- or you read of my misdeeds in other quarters of my existence -- know that none of it is personal. Between the allergies that make me want to smash things and the antihistamines that make me want to smash people, I am not the company you wish to keep at present.

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Current Location: 85721
Muse: prophecies of the new Portishead I intend to purchase this evening

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I Could Use a Little Verfremdung Right Now
This hasn't been a good year for me. The sports teams I identify with have had little good fortune. And the player I spent years defending is not even playing right now. Tonight the Suns, whom I've grown fond of, bit the dust. I'm starting to wonder whether my devotion is bound up with a curse, like appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated. At least I can appreciate good play in spite of my allegiances. Although I don't haven any emotional investment in Chris Paul, for example, I can't help but notice that he really is as good as advertised.

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Current Location: 85721

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Rolling Again
I rode fourteen miles on a bicycle today, half of them uphill and half of them at top speed. It was the hottest day of they year so far. And the winds were so fierce that they gave my cheeks the appearance of sunburn. But I'm so happy to be riding again that I don't mind.

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Current Location: 85704

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Today's Playlist
As I prepared to clean the kitchen floor and both bathroom floors by doing the dishes, I listened to The Smiths' "This Charming Man" and then about half of The World Won't Listen. Reading the Mojo magazine feature on them from a few months back has me thinking again, as I have with increasing frequency this decade, about just how unique they were. And yet, they were also products of the same Manchester post-punk scene as New Order, a fact which got me inspired to hear some of the latter.

Before I could do that, though, I had the urge to revisit Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks' latest, Real Emotional Trash. I liked the record on first hearing. Somehow, though, the fact that I'd been listening to most of the songs in live versions recorded at their January 9th, 2007 concert here in Tucson made me less excited than I wanted to be. Interestingly, though, after hearing them performed again live on Thursday, also at Plush, I felt my desire to memorize the album, something I've done with all of Malkmus's work in Pavement and as a solo artist, suddenly activated. Maybe it was the Jicks' new drummer Janet Weiss -- she of Sleater Kinney and Quasi fame -- saying "Hi!" to me at the merch table that sealed the deal. Whatever the reason, though, I found myself completely captivated on today's hearing. It lessened the burden of all that floor scrubbing. Real Emotional Trash is a great rock album that is not ashamed to summon the ghostly spirits of album rock's heyday. I guess "Fillmore Jive" closed Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain for a reason.

After so much guitar, I felt the need to hear something without it, so I put on Carl Craig's More Songs About Revolutionary Food & Art. Generally speaking, the world of dance-electronica-techno has been oriented more towards the 12" aesthetic, with its emphasis on remixing a few strong songs, than albums, but Craig's masterwork, which I've been rediscovering after finally obtaining it for myself on CD, is emphatically meant to be listened to as an album, as its title suggests. Once I'd had my fill of Craig, I returned to the idea of listening to New Order. Only now I wanted to listen to some of their "dancier" synth-and-beats tracks, the sort I generally had the urge to skip through in my guitar-centric past. When I went to pick out an album, though, I was reminded of how much I'd liked their last record Waiting For the Sirens Call and opted to listen to that first. I made it through four-and-a-half songs before it started to skip. Luckily, my favorite songs on the album are the ones that open it. And track four, the single "Krafty," may just be the best distillation ever of their melancholy pop sensibility, with its "Love Will Tear Us Apart"-style fusion of rock and dance music cultures. For that one I felt obligated to dance, watching my legs reflected dimly in the television screen.

Then it was on to Republic, the album with the highest percentage of the "dancier" songs I used to find uninspiring. I still think that one is their weakest pre-hiatus album, but it did sound better after listening to Carl Craig. Part of the problem is that the first song "Regret," which rivals "Krafty" and "Age of Consent" for the crown as catchiest New Order song, is so good that it makes everything after it seem sort of tepid. The effect is especially pronounced in my case, since "Regret" has great personal meaning for me, since I purchased the pre-album release CD single on one of the most complicated days of my life and one, fittingly, that flooded me a great deal of regret.

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Current Location: 85704
Muse: a memory of the "space" in the middle of the song "Real Emotional Trash"

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Cod Piece
I've recently discovered the virtues of cod, which retains a fine texture even after it has been frozen and thawed and tastes -- and smells -- divine when coupled with olive oil. My daughter loves it, which means I can cook one meal instead of two. Plus, I can conjure the illusion that I'm eating salt cod in a sea-sprayed Mediterranean locale.

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Current Location: 85704

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Three Minus One
For much my time in Tucson my nighttime companion has been our cat Thing Two. Recently, a neighborhood tomcat started coming around, with disastrous effects on Two's already addled brain. Even though Two was neutered at the proper time, he apparently retained enough male something or other to have it activated by the intrusion. He started spraying to mark his territory. And we spent the last two months engaged in a desperate attempt at behavior modification that showed promise at first but ultimately proved to be a failure.

Now Thing Two has officially become an "outdoor cat." Whether the scare quotes will persist is unclear. I have my doubts whether he will prove savvy enough to survive long in the wilderness he has long been eager to explore. Still, it was better to give him that chance than to consign him to an animal shelter where placing him in a new home would have been extremely difficult. He was happy this morning playing tiger in the weeds. I, however, am not happy at the prospect of spending my nights without his company. It's hard not identify with his plight. And it's even harder to have my sense of isolation so viscerally confirmed.

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Current Location: 85704

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Wrong Soundtrack
I don't think it's a good sign that there's an Edie Brickell song playing over and over in my head right now.

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Current Location: 85704

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