It's always nice to be reminded of the way the world really works. Take this story on San Francisco's exclusive private clubs. To me, it reads like a paraphrase of one of those over-the-top passages from Thomas Pynchon. But that's because I've never come close to the three-ring circus of power:

"The Bohemian Grove is woodsy," said Astrid Hoffman of Tiburon, whose husband belongs to the St. Francis Yacht Club. "They have these little houses or clubs. They're like Cub Scouts with their dens. They try to outdo each other in drinks and food, have private concerts and get-togethers."

There are 125 different camps -- Toyland, Dog House, Sons of Toil, etc. George H.W. Bush will be in Hill Billies, along with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

The bylaws say that at least 100 members must be connected professionally with literature, art, music or drama. Such "associate" members pay much less -- but must sing for their supper, in an arrangement worthy of a Medici.

"If you're a theatrical type, you shoot to the top of the list," Debenham said. "The Bohemian Grove is marvelously eclectic."

Every year at the Grove, a freshly written play with a cast of hundreds is performed the last Sunday of the retreat. "We know in advance that the hero will be a king or commander adored by his men, and that he will see his duty and do it," said Healdsburg author van der Zee of what he calls "these lumbering pageants."

I hate to say it, but John Kerry would fit right in. Unless, that is, someone raises questions about his Jewish heritage. . .

Mode: ligatory
Muse: 5 Million Ways To Kill A C.E.O. - The Coup - Party Music