I hate feeling this way. Even in 1972 I understood just enough to realize that grown-ups were feeling it. I felt it powerfully in 1980. 1984 and 1988 were a little easier to cope with, if only because there wasn't much doubt going in. 2000 spread the feeling out over such a long period that it was hard to bear. But this feels the worst yet. I'm not going to abandon the quest for long-term hope, mind you. I just need to express how bad I feel right now.