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Moldering - De File — LiveJournal
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Moldering
Well, my trip hasn't been too eventful so far. I'm sitting at a Borders in the shopping complex where the Capital Center used to be, taking advantage of Starbucks network. And I'm slowly becoming able to breathe without feeling like a lead block is on my chest. You see, my asthma acts up at my parents' house. There are molds somewhere - in the walls, probably -- that set me off like nothing else. It's funny. The asthma I'm having here in Maryland is different from the sort I experience in Tucson. And neither resembles the asthma that plagued me from time to time in California.

"Asthma" is one of those words like "cancer" that actually encompasses a wide variety of problems. Wait, don't most words function that way? Yes, I suppose they do. But we have an expectation that terms used in a specific context, such as medicine, will be more closely tied to their referents. Anyway, each form of asthma I get -- none of which are that severe, I might add -- has its own special qualities. The kind I've been suffering over the past twelve hours is my least favorite. It's hard to describe. It affects my stomach strongly. And I lose the ability to think without panicking.

I realize that the claustrophobia of being in my family home -- everyone has that experience when they return, right? -- surely makes the asthma worse than it would be in neutral location. Nevertheless, the physiological effects take precedence. I had the same problems during our last visit in 2003. Because I hadn't been back in a few years, I realized things that I had previously suppressed. This time that sensation is exponentially greater. And the more I think about my years living in that house -- 1979 to 1986 -- the more I suspect that the mold was there when we moved in. The symptoms I have now, which seem so extreme, actually match up with my memories of being a teenager. I mean, obviously there were other reasons why I was restless back then. But the sense of not being able to breathe right, the panic that made me unable to concentrate -- they could have been environmentally induced.

Mode: raspy
Muse: Daughter (It's Ok) - Pearl Jam: GTE Amphitheater - Virginia Beach, VA 08.03.00

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Comments
sisterblister83 From: sisterblister83 Date: November 19th, 2004 08:33 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I have really bad asthma in which I use a daily pill of Singulair and my albuterol inhaler for. I am from the country, right south of Albany. So when I was a kid, my asthma was mostly related to allergies to pollen and pets.
When I moved to Albany, I instantly reacted and had to adjust to a much higher "pollution" level. I have a hard time handling NYC too.
In California, I felt like I was in heaven. I visited at the end of August, no breathing problems whatsoever, minus some coughing when we went to Muir Woods.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: November 20th, 2004 12:56 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
The unfortunate thing is that allergies get worse the longer you're in a place. I had few when I first moved to Tucson, but am now in regular torment. I did have asthma shortly after moving, though. The Bay Area climate is good for me except during the June to October dry season. When the grass turns brown in the hills, I suffer.

Let me know if anything develops with that conference/roundtable idea.
sisterblister83 From: sisterblister83 Date: November 20th, 2004 04:49 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Do you react to foods? I had to stop eating dairy and very "heavy food".


I'll keep you informed.
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