January 26th, 2007

Deflatio

I'm excited to learn that, despite the huge cutbacks in basic scientific research under the Bush Administration, dedicated seekers of knowledge are still achieving breakthroughs. Robert Bohannon, for example, has come up with something that will serve men like me as the anti-viagra, thereby advancing the cause of world peace:
That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.
One bite of a power doughnut and I'll have as much interest in sex as a neutered sloth. Think of all that I could accomplish in the time that otherwise might be wasted on fantasies in which Neko Case performs the role of Ariel in an underwater New Pornographers video.

Unheimland

I was walking up 5th, approaching Mission. A man was sitting on the ground in the drizzle, asking for change. I felt in my pockets and found none. As I passed him, I looked to my right and saw this vehicle:

I doubled back and, after extracting a dollar from my wallet, talked to him about the weather while I propped the camera on the cast-iron fence behind him. Later, on the long march back from Chinatown, I noticed that he had moved to the other side of the street, in front of the west entrance to the San Francisco Center. "I know you," he called out, smiling. "You're on your way home."