January 29th, 2009

Time To Kick Out the Jams

Astonishingly enough, after mishaps both large and small, including a remarkable variety of computer problems, I have finished my responsibilities for that book I've been editing off and on for the past year and a half. And, boy, am I ever glad. As much as I like the finished product, I can cheerfully go a few months without thinking about its form or content.

Editing is a strange endeavor. I am very good at it. But I find that, given my extreme susceptibility to identifying with others, the task frequently leaves me without words of my own to communicate. In striving to inhabit the voice of my author, I neglect my own voice to such an extent that it seems to be coming to me from a foreign language.

Indeed, I often find it easier to speak in the voice of another than I do to speak as myself. While this is an extremely deep-seated problem, manifest in most aspects of my life, it is a particularly pressing concern when I'm attempting to write. Few things make me as happy as the feeling of having built up serious momentum at the keyboard. But if the flow I attain is not one I recognize as my own, the sense of release is muted at best.

This is a circuitous and rather somber way of explaining the tremendous sense of relief I feel in knowing that I can consign the 65,000+ words of that have been crowding my consciousness to the filing cabinet of memory. Now if I could just manage to start filling the void left behind by their departure with my own prose, I'd be set.

Order Is Restored To the Universe (and All I'm Getting Is This Crummy Stat Sheet)

The Bears' brief affair with Fortune has ended. Tonight we caught a UCLA team stung by two recent conference defeats and determined to prove that it plays the best defense in the West. We look awful, as I expected. The Bruins have a way of making you do that, like a perverse funhouse mirror. But it sure would be nice to catch a team of that caliber napping, as other underdogs do.