March 3rd, 2010

Not So Terrible

I suppose it's to be expected that I'm feeling strange of late, given all that has transpired. The surprise for me is that this "strange" is not a euphemism for "bad." I do have moments of sadness and worry, of course. But I also find myself periodically flooded with a sense of well-being, as if I were finally beginning to make my descent after a long, hard climb. I mean, I know I'm still climbing and will be for some time. Yet the sensation of having already made it through the roughest part is providing needed sustenance and focus. It's almost like positive visualization, a coping strategy I have used far too rarely in my life. Anyway, this is not the kind of introspection I'm good at it and certainly not the sort I should share very often. So I will desist. Suffice it to say that I'm doing alright from a mental standpoint and only slightly worse from a physiological standpoint, somatizer that I am.