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Shying Away - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Shying Away
I find myself killing more entries than usual of late. I'd say I only post a quarter of the ones I start and three quarters of the ones I finish. I don't know why I've become more reticent. I haven't had any bad LJ-related experiences of note. But I'm pulling back regardless. I wonder why.
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Comments
From: (Anonymous) Date: April 2nd, 2005 09:47 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

it's like that

Blogs, despite their confessional mode, are public performances. Kim is *super* aware of it (as I guess she has reason to be) but even us less-confessional guys have to wrestle with it. It's doubly hard because as profs, there's a lot of violations across the work/private life divide already. Or maybe that divide's a big fiction for all professional-managerial class people. I don't know. But while I rarely censor a post, there are many things I contemplate posting and don't. Sometimes I think I need a second, secret, friends-only blog where I can feel free to say whatever I damn well please. But then that would be a performance too and I'd be right back in this pickle. . . . It's the medium, man.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: April 2nd, 2005 11:15 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: it's like that

That all makes sense, J. The hard part for me is figuring out why my enthusiasm for going potentially public waxes and wanes the way it does. I feel like I should have a better handle on my current situation.
art_thirst From: art_thirst Date: April 2nd, 2005 10:16 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I've done the same, lack of posting, that is. The photos haven't been coming as much as usual and they're not as interesting of late. I had planned something for today but, it just got cancelled (canoe rental). Oh well...
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: April 2nd, 2005 11:16 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
And I miss your posts! I've still been managing one a day, but it's not until the second or third attempt that I manage to write something I'm willing to post. Weird.
(Deleted comment)
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: April 2nd, 2005 12:15 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Yeah, there is that. The pressure for me is knowing people -- co-workers, students -- who read me but pretend they don't. Fashioning oneself for that kind of audience isn't easy.
tpratt From: tpratt Date: April 2nd, 2005 01:47 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

please to allow me to lurk instead of post

I almost wrote something last night. Then I realized that I was completely soaked in rage over what amounted to an anthill of perceived wrongs and annoyances. I always find myself thinking about how I'd read what I wrote if I were someone else, and that more than anything else (as in sloth) keeps me from sharing more with this great big huggable LJ world. Still, though, I don't really think it matters much. If I wanted more social interaction I'd go to a fucking baseball game or something.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: April 3rd, 2005 02:03 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: please to allow me to lurk instead of post

I like you when you're angry! I know you don't want a "public," but I like being part of your semi-private. That sounds sick. Oh well.
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