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Repressed Memory of the Day - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
Repressed Memory of the Day
Skylar and I just finished watching The Empire Strikes Back, which we had started after Christmas and resumed the other day. Guess what? I realized that I'd never seen it before. At every single juncture when she wanted to know what was going to happen, I was plagued with uncertainty. I knew a few things, like the fact that Han Solo ends up frozen and the fact that Luke goes to the swampy planet where Yoda lives, but not much else. It turns out that I had imagined myself having seen the film with such force that I had forgotten the fact that I never got to watch it in the first place. When it came out, I was twelve. We had just moved to Maryland. Everything was strange and we were all overtaxed. My parents had never taken us to the movies much anyway. Somehow, although I desperately wanted to see the film, I didn't push hard enough to make them take me. My memories of having seen it, I now recognize, derived entirely from looking at the toys that accompanied its premiere and trying to construct a narrative on the basis of what they appeared to represent. I should have known that there was a major hole in my Star Wars experience when I was looking at the sets in Legoland a few weeks back and was unable to recall the Cloud City. Now that the hole has finally been filled, though, I feel more lack than I did before I discerned its presence. I suppose that's the way that sort of thing works, though. You don't mourn what you missed out on as a child until you are aware of its existence.

Mode: heat-caked
Muse: Architecture in Helsinki, thanks to Sean the Super Scoundrel

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