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Mind Full - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Mind Full
Skylar is really under the weather today. And she's scheduled to have surgery to remove her tonsils tomorrow morning. It has to happen. But we can't go ahead with the procedure unless she's well enough to keep her spirits up. On top of that, I'm getting more and more distressed with each passing news story about the situation in New Orleans. _luaineach and I have been having a productively tough-minded debate in private correspondence about the role of the state in dealing with natural disasters. Having the distraction has been helpful on a day when I would otherwise be treading the same ten centimeters into shiny hardness. Because I'm feeling extremely stressed out and weepy, though, I'm having a hard time sustaining the dispassion necessary to prevent that sort of back-and-forth from deteriorating into statements like "It's hopeless. We will never come to an understanding." Before Kim came home I brought the futon out of the garage for Bean and put on the DVD for Andy Goldsworthy's Rivers and Tides. It lulled her to sleep very quickly and made me feel considerably more relaxed. Now I have to go run an errand for her, however, and then rush down to teach, so my stress level is heading for another peak. It says something about my state of mind that I keep seeing a mirage of rising water everywhere I turn.
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Comments
_luaineach From: _luaineach Date: August 31st, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
"It's hopeless. We will never come to an understanding."

You know what, it's okay even if it *is* hopeless and we can never come to an understanding. Live and let live, right? ;) People don't/can't always come to understandings -- underlying values are oftentimes just too disparate.

But, the point is, even if you dissolve to such statements it's perfectly alright with *me* if 10 days later you're back in the saddle with "wait a minute, I don't think it's hopeless anymore and I've thought of just the perfect argument to get your cold-hearted head outta your ass...". ::shrug:: (more shrugging!) Some days things seem more hopeless than others.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 31st, 2005 05:25 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Today feels particularly hopeless, certainly. Notice, though, that I said I was struggling to ward off that impulse to draw that conclusion, not that I was succumbing to it. Ten days or five, I'll probably be ready for more!
elizabeg From: elizabeg Date: August 31st, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I know. Distressing distressing distressing.

I just posted a poem to Kim's blog that's my fallback for all in ill health (first thing I sent to my mother you know when, etc) that includes an image of water I would much prefer to keep in mind right now. I wish it didn't seem so damn ironic to hold onto it and have it coming back to mind at such a time as this.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: September 1st, 2005 12:45 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Thanks you. It was nice to see.
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