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Minute Rant - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Minute Rant
What genius decided that relish should come in an "Easy Squeeze" plastic container? Ketchup makes sense. I'm sure most people my age or older can recall the way our hands reverberated after banging the old glass bottles with our palms. Because ketchup is a viscous liquid, the ability to squeeze its container helps a lot. But relish? The last time I checked, relish was still made of little pieces of pickled cucumber, solid even when they are sliced very small. Squeezing doesn't help. And when the relish finally emerges from its plastic prison, it squirts all over the place like chunks of green vomit. No one needs that sort of "improvement." I can make do just fine with a small, glass bottle and a spoon, thank you.
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Comments
bitterlawngnome From: bitterlawngnome Date: November 9th, 2005 11:53 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Why do you hate Freedom?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: November 10th, 2005 10:41 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Because I'm not a real American!
bitterlawngnome From: bitterlawngnome Date: November 10th, 2005 12:01 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
If you insist on the jar, the terrorists win.
yourbestfiend From: yourbestfiend Date: November 9th, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

"why do I have to squeeze a bear to get my honey? it's not like when I want sugar, I have to squeeze a baby."

- Mitch Hedberg, R.I.P.
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 9th, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I miss that man.

-- Mark
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: November 10th, 2005 10:42 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Whatever happened to your LJ identity?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: November 10th, 2005 10:41 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Sweet. . .
danthered From: danthered Date: November 9th, 2005 11:05 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
What genius decided that relish should come in an "Easy Squeeze" plastic container?

The same genius who decided the world needs ketchup to come in colours other than plain red. Purple, green, blue, etc.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: November 10th, 2005 10:42 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Blue ketchup at least comes out of the bottle. But, yes, I suspect it's the same genius.
tpratt From: tpratt Date: November 10th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
The Heinz squeeze relish is just all right with me. The hole is really big, so the relish comes out without looking like it was directed by William Friedkin. If I spelled his name right.

Then again, I barely ever eat relish and I hate washing utensils, so what the fuck.
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