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Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Barrier Reef
Sometimes I want to write about my feelings. Sometimes I want to write my feelings into what I write about. Right now I'm in the mood to do the latter. I have been for some time, come to think of it. I mean, I prefer indirection anyway. But I'm pulled further into my shell of late than I had in a long while. The funny thing is that it's not because anything is wrong. On the contrary, I feel much better now than I did last year at this time or the year before that or the year before that. It's all very curious. All right, it's time to head back to the multi-layered mediation.

Tags:
Mode: interesting

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Comments
From: e4q Date: December 4th, 2005 09:24 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
i think that's interesting. there is nothing wrong with being direct, but as a creative practice there is something more sophisticated in evoking than stating. if you were writing fiction or poetry it would be. i loved in 'she came to stay' that de beauvoir managed just not to describe how people were feeling, just what they did, but it was still a really emotional novel.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: December 4th, 2005 05:18 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
The down-on-his-literary-historical-luck Ernest Hemingway was also pretty good at that. It's not anything I'm trying to achieve, but I wouldn't mind getting there someday!
From: e4q Date: December 4th, 2005 05:23 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
mm. well, i have never written really before, but it is becoming quite central to what i think i am doing, i have done readings recently and stuff, so i am thinking about what my writing might be, and it is certainly something i admire.
frostedfuckhead From: frostedfuckhead Date: December 4th, 2005 10:44 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I think that this instinct is natural Charlie. But also dangerous. By weaving your feelings into a piece that sits outside of yourself, it seems to elevate them to a higher plane beyond the reach of reproach. It gives one a false sense of 'owning' feelings. Our bruised and battered egos treasure anything they can own, and so flutter up to these places like moths to the moon. It is no wonder so many artists are depressed with this sort of escape hatch available at all times. It finally just catches up with them...

Of course it can also be a fantastic thing if you are honest with yourself, because it gives you a chance to explore feelings and tinker with their structures in such a way as to shed light on their True Source. Meaning, yourSelf of course. The key is learning to realize yourSelf owns you... not vice versa.



_luaineach From: _luaineach Date: December 4th, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
By weaving your feelings into

This was very nicely said. It calls to mind one of my favorite quotes by A'dzom Rinpoche:

"One way to understand moods is that they are just the habit patterns of our mind continually playing themselves out in different scenarios. According to the view of dharma, we don't need to understand them or consider them so much as we need to replace them with new habits. This is where practice comes in. When we practice, we involve our body, emotions and mind in a new habit which is much more "real" in the sense that it is in line with the reality of enlightenment. This is the definition of purification.

The problem with paying much attention at all to emotional states is that we must on some level believe that they are real if we are considering them at all. We reinforce our sense of egoic reality by examing and exploring them, much in the way Narcissis was enamored of his reflection. When we come to practice from that place, we create extra obstacles and encounter even greater resistance."
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: December 4th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Wow! That's awesomely put. And I agree. Luckily, I have the advantage of having some people with whom I can share in "meat space" when I'm feeling like not sharing my feelings in LJ space. On the other hand, I have been known to defer feelings in the real world too, sometimes with distressing consequences.

BTW, do images posted on Live Journal come through to you there? Or to Flicker?
frostedfuckhead From: frostedfuckhead Date: December 5th, 2005 02:35 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

hrm

i can definitely access flickr. i can see pictures posted to livejournal, but not if they are linked from typepad. all typepad urls are blocked by china. for some reason, the typepad domain is quite popular amongst livejournal bloggers, so i miss out on a lot of pictures (including yours).

i suspect there was a political dissident or overtly sexual blogger on typepad or something like that... i'm not really sure. i haven't quite got a handle on what is permitted and what isn't here. i go to punk rock shows where bands sing about fucking the government in the ass but no one seems to care about that. i read newspaper articles that criticize the government, but i also know editors have been jailed for this. it seems rather arbitrary. i'm fairly confused.

fortunately i'm not planning any political rallies, haha.

cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: December 6th, 2005 01:26 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: hrm

Maybe I'll find a way to make some images available to you! (LJ commenting e-mails are all messed up, BTW. I'm missing 1/3 or so.)
kdotdammit From: kdotdammit Date: December 4th, 2005 05:45 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
This is so GREAT. You say this so well. Thank you. I, of course, am in full accord.
commonalgebra From: commonalgebra Date: December 4th, 2005 09:06 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I look too hard for
direction, but only
when lying down—

so everything is crooked
with nothing
to stand on.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: December 4th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
That's great! I'm needing to do more reading right now. I have so much writing to do, but it stagnates without outside influence.
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