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Now Is the Time For Sex - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Now Is the Time For Sex
I just posted a comment on a friend's journal that interested me enough to share here, with some modifications. In her excellent entry, my friend ruminates on whether it's ever possible for sex to be only sex, concluding, "Maybe love, sometimes, even forgiveness and the tender recognition of catastrophe, but never just sex. "Just sex" is an empty category, an imagined space for a pure desire that can't possibly exist."

I replied that, "I find it easier to focus in on the momentariness of the moment when I'm washing dishes than when I'm having sex. I like having sex, of course. I like it a lot. But it's harder for me to flatten out the folds of time in that context than in others." Part of this has to do with the fact that I spend too much time in head, surely, but I'm confident that my confession doesn't mark me as a rare exception to the rule of nature.

I went on to state my conviction that the ideal of "just sex" is, "first and foremost an expression of our desire to free ourselves from the bunched up fabric of time. The drugs people take as a prelude to having sex, the schemes they come up with to keep it anonymous and detached, the words they deploy as prelude and coda -- all those supplements serve, paradoxically, to strengthen the barrier keeping the narrow present of bliss-to-be, bliss, and bliss-just-had safe from contamination by thoughts of a more distant time, whether forward or back."

I went on to add that the use of these supplements is not necessarily a bad thing. People smoke pot, put on fetish wear, and talk dirty for a reason, after all: these supplements have the potential to enhance their delight. But it's important to recognize, I concluded, that this delight is, "shadowed by oblivion or, more precisely, is a delight in oblivion, which, coming full circle, turns out to be cut from the same anti-matter cloth as the moment the ideal of 'just sex' aspires to wrest from the complicit complexities of chronology." Now is the time for sex because now is the time of oblivion.

Tags: , ,
Mode: not too sexy for my shorts
Muse: Anyone remember Right Said Fred?

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Comments
frostedfuckhead From: frostedfuckhead Date: January 19th, 2006 05:06 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
i've been trying to forget right said fred for over a decade.

i think he was almost gone... you bastard.
From: bobo_amargo Date: January 19th, 2006 03:00 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Absorption & Theatricality; or, Who's Going to Do the Dishes?

Riddle on the justnesses of "just": Add a dash of Judith to a full heaping of Bishop Butler and what you get is something like this: Nothing is what it is and not another thing -- at any rate, sub specie humanitatis. That said, the conflation of sex and love as natural helpmeets probably stands in need of as much reduction as the claims for its mean older brother, Justsex. You seem to be pointing toward a Socratic concept of eros-as-gateway-to-anamnesis -- DO say more!

Also, you'll be pleased to learn that the Spanish word "fregar" means, depending on country and context, both "to fuck (with)" -- as in "_No me fregues, huey!_" (i.e., "Don't fuck with me, dude!") -- and "to wash (the dishes)." I hereby bequeath this word to Kim, f-word the third (i.e., together with "flannel" and "fuck"). Think of the pain we could've saved Norman Mailer had he but known this hispanic lexical ambiguity.
From: e4q Date: January 20th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

say this

i thought this was very interesting, and i had lots of thoughts about it. and i thought about telling you them, but now i think i probably won't. but just say this.
From: uncommonplace Date: January 20th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: say this

I understand. But if you feel the urge to use e-mail instead, go ahead. I'm fascinated by the discussions -- most of them off-line -- that my entry has triggered.
From: femaletoys Date: December 21st, 2006 11:49 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Hi cbertsch. I've saw your blog now for the first time and I'm impressed very much! I like your thoughts and your writing manner.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: December 21st, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Nice to hear from you! I sometimes feel like I'm toiling in obscurity, so it's great to learn that what I write is being read and appreciated.

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