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Two-Ply - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Two-Ply
I've already shared this one with a number of friends over the past few days. Vance was standing with me on Joel and Jennifer's backyard deck when I was hit with the inspiration. Joel was there for the first retelling. Steven, Robin, Doug and Jillian were witnesses to the second. Kim had to endure the third. You, loyal readers, are granted the fourth. Here goes. Imagine the following slogan, perhaps on a bumper-sticker, poster or a T-shirt:
We need to stop belting our children and start belting our children.
The beauty of it is that it can serve vastly different ideological positions. The reactionary hard-ass who fondly recalls the days when children rode around in the back seat without any restraining devices and still managed to survive to adulthood can use the slogan to advocate corporal punishment as a means to reviving the strong and fearless America of right-wing fantasy. The liberal who wishes the advances of the 1960s hadn't been sacrificed on the altar of conservatism, by contrast, can deploy the slogan to advocate an end to corporal punishment and promote a culture of safety where young people are treated with care and delicacy. The scary thing is that these two radically different ways of interpreting the slogan are closer to the reality of the present-day United States, with its sharp division between "red state" and "blue state" thinking, than anyone would have predicted during the Nixon administration which was, incidentally, the era when car seats for children really took off.

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Comments
From: catfishvegas Date: February 8th, 2006 02:42 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I noticed this is the only entry under the "slogans" tag -- surely there are more forthcoming?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: February 8th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
As soon as I dream them up. . . :-)

(And lunch sounds great. Next week?)
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 10th, 2006 03:38 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Righteous!

That was awesome!! I haven't seen the latest statistics on the incidence of child abuse by political affiliation, so I will just have to take your word for this stuff. Still, I am sure that you are absolutely right here. Something--call it instinct, a hunch, or just a gut feeling--tells me that right-wingers beat their children more than the rest of us. Why might this be? Are right-wing politics a manifestation of some deeper lurking evil, perhaps the very same evil that causes parents to abuse their children? Or is it that, contrary to what so many social scientists would have us believe, the true cause of child abuse and other social ills is not some complex mix of social, cultural and economic factors, but rather the hateful (is evil too strong a word?) and undialectical ideology of the American right? It's the chicken and the egg: are they evil because they are Republicans or are they Republicans because they are evil?

Anyhoo, I just wanted to thank you for your important and insightful words. Some solid left-wing shibboleths are just what this country needs right now. Slogans like yours will simultaneously raise the spirits of our fellow travelers while still remaining polysemious enough to let the reactionaries wallow in their false consciousness. With that in mind here are some slogans of my own:

My party is the one that cares about the children!

or:

People Whose Politics I Disagree With Are Somehow Less Human Than Me.

or:

Go Team!


cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: February 10th, 2006 11:51 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: Righteous!

::smiling::

I love that first one: "My party is the one that cares about the children!" It's perfect in its ambiguity.
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