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Nothing - De File — LiveJournal
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Nothing
We watched The Never-Ending Story story, which is based on Michael Ende's Die Unendliche Geschichte, a book I've heard praised by many.

The film itself is high on concept and low on production values. Why is it that movies from the 80s look especially bad these days?

I saw the film several times in Germany as an exchange student, late in 1987 and early in 1988. Because my German wasn't good enough to understand all the dialogue, the film seemed cooler than it does now in English.

Skylar seemed to like parts of it, but was scared of the "creature of darkness" -- the sort of wolf that populated my own pre-school nightmares -- and impatient with the framing narrative.

She's getting a cold, though, so that might be a mitigating factor.

I had to incorporate elements of the film into my bedtime story for her tonight, though not the "creature of darkness."

She asked for the creeping Nothing that is the real cause for alarm in the plot -- the realm of fantasy is being devoured by people's inability to dream or wish -- but I didn't give it to her.

Maybe that's because that part of the film hit a little too close to home.

I feel that Nothing these days. It's all around me and inside me.

I have no five-year plan, no one-year plan, and few plans of consequence for the weeks ahead.

I don't dream -- literally or metaphorically -- much anymore. And I can barely muster up the energy to wish for even mundane things.

Is this simply the result of growing up, as the plot of the film seems to suggest?

Or is there a more specific problem?

I know one thing: I feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending story these days.

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Mode: numble
Muse: Dirty Knives - Bangs - Call And Response

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Comments
masoo From: masoo Date: January 30th, 2004 06:38 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I have never had a long-term plan in my life, and have had precious few short-term plans. Then one day you wake up and you're 50.

Maybe this anecdote gets it: it was after I'd been in the factory for quite a few years, and I was in therapy ... Robin and I would go together, actually. One day I told the shrink that my problem was I couldn't cope with work, that it was quite simply impossible, beyond my capacities to work in that place. "How long have you been there," he asked. "Eight years," I replied. "Well," he said, "you may hate it, you may need to get out of it, but it's pretty clear that you can indeed do it ... you've done it for 8 years already!"

Or this anecdote, from when I had finished my undergrad stuff. I was thinking about grad school, but I was already 34 years old, and didn't know what it would be like to emerge from grad school at such an advanced age. A friend asked me, "how old will you be when you finish grad school?" "They say it takes six years" (so it took me 8 1/2, I didn't know that yet), "so I'll be 40." "And how old will you be in six years if you DON'T go to grad school?" my friend asked. "40." "Well then, why not go to grad school, you're gonna be 40 in six years no matter what you do!"
kdotdammit From: kdotdammit Date: January 30th, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It was the Nothing that ultimately scared the Bean the most too. When she woke up from her first of many nightmares last night, it was the Nothing that she was crying about. Bad choice of movie I guess. Oh well, the Nothing swallows me everyday, every night. I guess it's contagious now that you got it too. I guess we're just a house of Nothing.
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