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Living Dangerously - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Living Dangerously
Sometimes, you just want to curl up in bed. We were already grappling with the realization that the J, which we rely on so much in summer, was a lot less safe than it used to be -- having a Tucson police officer patrolling the place at all times is a good idea, but underscores the problem -- when the floods came. A number of washed-out highways later, things calmed down enough for us to feel like life was getting back to normal when a speeding drunk driver nearly killed our daughter in our small, tract-home subdivision. The adrenaline from that threat still has our hearts racing triple time. And now I just saw the cats exhibiting suspiciously alert behavior near the front door and walked over to see that, yes, there was indeed a bark scorpion -- the worst kind we have in Arizona -- walking along the wall.

This time I didn't hesitate. I picked up Kim's troublingly soft-heeled clog and pushed it down and around until I saw scorpion juice spurt out over the tile. Smokey was a little too into the chase for me to risk leaving things to chance. Now she and Thing Two are lifting the welcome mat to see whether they can find the object of their stalking, which I have already flushed down the toilet. The only problem is that, as I was sliding it off the sole with a piece of toilet paper, it made one of those involuntary death movements that primitive creatures make and seemed to brush against my finger. I 'm almost certain I came to no harm, but my whole body is tingling in an eery manner anyway. Damn. I'm sure a swarm of killer bees displaced from their riverbed home will be next. Either that or a rattlesnake. Or maybe a White Supremacist tweaker. The possible threats are many.

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Current Location: 85704

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Comments
danthered From: danthered Date: August 2nd, 2006 09:08 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Ye gods. I don't know what a bark scorpion does, but it sounds dangerous. I think the lot of you deserve a nice, quiet month or two!
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:39 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Unlikely, I'm afraid. But nice to dream about. I wish I could send you a few hundred thousand dollars to spend on antique auto parts. From the 20s and 30s especially.
parilous From: parilous Date: August 2nd, 2006 09:19 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Thank god your daughter is okay! I can't even imagine that scenario -- the idea of something happening to my child* is so paralyzing, it's a wonder my mom ever let me go out of the house.

And nice catch on the scorpion. I'm sure the critters have been displaced because of the water and things will settle down to normal again. Keep watching the cats for signs of more critters... It's good to have cats for that very reason (as long as you're attuned to their actions).


--
* Not that I have one.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Paralyzing is right. Man. I wasn't there, but I had a sense something was amiss right when it happened. Freaky.

Oh, and cats are excellent scorpion spotters. Smokey actually cornered it and made my task a lot easier. I was afraid she might get too close or might have tried to catch it and put it outside.
From: ex_benlinus Date: August 2nd, 2006 10:52 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I'm imagining River Bed Dwelling Water Activated Tweaker White Supremicists reanimating right now, and it's actually pretty funny. I'd imagine you'll get a laugh out of them when they knock on your door. Check Wikipedia to find out how to kill 'em.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:41 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Man, I'm sure they're living under the bridge that spans the concrete watercourse leading into our catchment basin. Smoking ice and shit.
xmoonbunnyx From: xmoonbunnyx Date: August 2nd, 2006 11:43 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Don't you love how everything crappy always happens at once? It's always a string of events, either through the course of a day or week or, if you're really unlucky, a month.

I'm glad your daughter didn't get hit. My great aunt was hit by a drunk driver when she was walking home from school w/ my grandmother. She was 11. She's never been the same since. I mean to say, her body is messed up/medicated, and her self-confidence deteriorated.

What's the J?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It does seem to come in waves, though I should maybe regard these as good waves so far, since our luck has held out. At least we could use the opportunity to impress upon Skylar the importance of never driving herself if she's not sure she's safe to drive and never getting in a car with anyone else who seems to have been drinking unless she's just as sure. It will be easier for her to remember with yesterday's intensity attached to the message.

The "J" is the Jewish Community Center, which we joined upon moving here in 2000 in order to send Skylar to pre-school there. It has a nice pool, basketball and tennis courts, and a fitness center and we like the all-ages vibe and diversity. There's a conservative contingent there, to be sure, but the pro-Israel stuff is balanced by plenty of skeptical liberals, especially by Tucson standards. So we don't want to stop being members. But these are dangerous times.
siyeh From: siyeh Date: August 2nd, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I feel like it would be difficult to speed in your neighborhood if you were sober. Scary. And scorpion makes Double Scary. I'm terrified of them. I'm constantly patrolling for them, but I haven't seen one yet. I thinkmy cats will help, but we'll see. However, now I spend altogether too much time patrolling. Haven't found a snail in 2-3 days, but I still peer through the rocks. That can't have been it. And now we (should I say, Greg?) are much less squeamish about killing them, and just take the advice of some aquarium geekers I talked to online, and smash them on the glass so the fish can eat them.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It makes you hard, this living here, even when you're dealing with aquatic environments! You're totally right that it's hard to speed in our neighborhood. It requires extreme recklessness. Of course, since the driver in question responed to Kim's outrage with, "What kids? I didn't see any kids," he clearly falls into the category of the extremely reckless.
elizabeg From: elizabeg Date: August 2nd, 2006 01:34 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Damn.

I love my hometown. But like I told K last night, I seriously don't know what to say. All best thoughts--
dlowestanimal From: dlowestanimal Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:25 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Was this driver apprehended?

Also, I hadn't heard about a police officer being stationed at the JCC. Is this in response to something or precautionary?
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Kim called the police when we got home. Because it's Oro Valley, they came right away and gave the guy a talking to and entered him in their computer. He has priors for DUI, so I imagine they'll pay attention to him. It's one advantage of living in the town with more cops per capita than a totalitarian state. The cops were nice, at least.

As for the J, the officer has been stationed there since the shootings in Seattle. Apparently the J is considered one of Arizona's top targets in the War on Terror. Take that with several grains of salt, obviously, but Homeland Security apparently did send a team out to check the facility out a while back.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 2nd, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
On the bright side, I restrained the urge to go down to the guy's house and get in a confrontation that might have left me dead. I do have that male temper underneath all this Pavement-inflected irony.
elizabeg From: elizabeg Date: August 2nd, 2006 05:35 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Difficult to suppress, I'm sure. But on the bright side, yes. Alive and reasonably well.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 3rd, 2006 10:15 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I have the rage but not the skills to back it up. Not a good combination. Best to confine my passive aggression to the basketball court, where I can set bone-crunching screens at will and get nary a black eye for my trouble.
From: e4q Date: August 3rd, 2006 12:01 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
careful of telephones as well. more germs than a toilet, apparently. i am glad. i can use a heightened immune system. the uk is so unbeleivably safe wildlife wise. mind you i was nearly run over the other day, so i guess there are hazards everywhere. mainly human. and the sea! we have been having lots of adverts and news pieces about drowning lately. it's nice to live on an island, though, and quite hard to drown when you are inland, though i did see someone drown in the thames once.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: August 3rd, 2006 12:14 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Super to hear from you. I was about to drop you a note to check in. I have that sheepdog thing somewhere deep inside me. This is a pretty dangerous clime, all in all. But it's often fun. I just wish it were always this moist so that I could breathe better.
From: e4q Date: August 3rd, 2006 02:24 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
you want to live somewhere more clammy. london is clammy, as is sydney. i don't do so well because of the thunder storms. they kick off my migraines something rotten.

i have been a bit remiss on the correspondence front, happily mainly because i have acquired a BOYFRIEND. yes, well done me! he lives out of town and is phobic about travelling so i have been going to him. it may be lurve. i might be moving. woo hoo!
From: e4q Date: August 3rd, 2006 05:20 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
oh, and one time i bought a facial steamer for my spots, and before i relegated it to the cupboard of lost things i read the leaflet that said 'do not use this with oils' and i thought 'ooh, that's a good idea' so when i feel my sinuses and lungs could do with it i plug it in. sometimes i put salt, which is kind for the tissues, and sometimes olbas oil. knocks your socks off!
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