Charlie Bertsch (cbertsch) wrote,
Charlie Bertsch

A Calling

I get to call Germany today. I probably won't speak much German. But the fact that I'm calling over there has me excited. I always miss the place. Now that I'm thinking hard about the future in a way that I normally don't, however, the urge to return is particularly strong. I was happy there, even when I was alone.

I've never gotten over the feeling of freedom I had during my year there. I know it's ironic to associate Germany with freedom, but it worked that way for me. Freedom from school. Freedom from the reflexes that I'd developed in the bad years. Freedom, finally, from language itself. The exhilaration I felt when I was suddenly unable to communicate in words made me into a better person.

I need to recall that transformation now and figure out a way to revive its effects without going completely mute. Or maybe going mute is what I require. Time will tell. At any rate, I'm looking forward to that distinctive ring on the other end of the line.
Tags: autobiography, everyday, nostalgia, travel
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