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And For Our Next Trick. . . - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
And For Our Next Trick. . .
I'm watching the NBA playoffs. Every time that new Coors Light commercial comes on, the one where the woman is looking at the results of her pregnancy test and the man is reaching into the fridge, I'm consumed with rage. I mean, did they really need to invent a label that turns blue when the beer reaches the right temperature? Is it that hard to touch the bottle? Maybe it's marketed at people who have lost all feeling in their hands. Come to think of it, the sex partners of the people to whom it's being marketed might agree with that conclusion. Still, I'm left wondering what insult will next be added to this grievous injury. How about an erection detector? Put a special strip on the front of your partner's pants and watch it light up when his bat size has gone from souvenir collectible to Harmon Killebrew.

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6 comments or Leave a comment
_luaineach From: _luaineach Date: May 19th, 2007 04:03 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
If a new gimmick is needed (and when isn't, really, in the competitive market of same-taste beers like coors, miller, and bud?), I rather like the color changing labels and can actually think of a handful of specific occasions they would have actually been useful at sports parties of ours (i.e., specific times when someone or another has said "why did you bring me one of the warm ones?!"). But, my liking of the color changing label is only when I compare it to the other new gimmick of aluminum bottles. I hate those things.

Not to mention that I can *also*, from experience, think of countless times the color changing label would be an event all night.. "better drink faster! the mountains are starting to go white!" I think beers are even going to get thrown away in a "can't drink that *now*, it's warm!" fit of subconcious "my mountains aren't blue!" panic.

I know that *I* certainly have been (and am) the person at a party who, after x amount of beers, would shout into Jim "honey, can you bring me a new beer with *blue* mountains, this one has gone all warm!" if there were mountains to compare!


Hrm. I'm seeing now I must be their market nitch!

Poor Coors. Even *Jet* knows "the coldest beer in the world" due to their flooding MNF, which we watch in bed as family tradition, with those commercials. And yet, we never ever buy coors.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: May 19th, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Oh, shoot. I guess you have a point about the party situation. But I still like to think that the average beer drinker could feel whether a bottle was cold or not.

I'm always amazed that anyone drinks Coors. It has no taste.
_luaineach From: _luaineach Date: May 19th, 2007 04:13 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Speaking of commercials that make a person see red: I just went in to pester Jim for a bit while he is watching the game and I walked in right in time to catch the Brinks commercial. *That* commercial sends me into a fury because years ago Jet saw it and it TERRIFIED him. I mean, not just when he saw it but for MONTHS afterwards he didn't want to go to bed alone in his room in the dark because of freaking burglars who were quite likely to break in the front door.

The commercial has a layer of panicked urgency and fright that I think is totally inappropriate for something like a middle of the day sporting event that children are quite likely watching (or at least in the room for).

cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: May 19th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Yes, that's an awful one. Far worse than the Coors ad, all in all. Although I do find the gender divide the latter reinforces deeply depressing.
derdriu From: derdriu Date: May 21st, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I never understood the entire TiVo phenomenon until I hear things like this. But then, there's the question of whether skipping them is just consciously choosing to remain blissfully ignorant.
tpratt From: tpratt Date: May 22nd, 2007 12:16 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Coors Light is my favorite pisswater 'Merican brew. It's super fizzy and seems to have more alcohol than the other light selections.

I haven't seen the wacky TV spot for the blue mountain cold bottles, but I did see a print ad for them so I know they're out there. Pretty retarded, but Coors is really big on the "cold equals quality" horseshit. My father in law has been drinking Coors for like 40 years. I'd bet he's had twice as much Coors as any other liquid, water included, over the course of his life. One time I brought a case over when we visited Hemet, and he was annoyed because I had bought a package of Coors that wasn't in the fridge at the store. "Tim", he said with an excess of gravitas, "Coors is NEVER not refrigerated. You bought the wrong box" or something like that. I kept a straight face and apologized for my faux pas. I'm sure this new blue mountain thing will help both of us in that regard.

Besides, Sapporo had COLD-TIME TO DRINK stickers on those cute micro-kegs back in the 80's, so fuck you Coors, you're just sniffing Japanese ass looking for clues anyway. Word.
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