Charlie Bertsch (cbertsch) wrote,
Charlie Bertsch
cbertsch

Another Example of Why Bill Simmons Makes Me Laugh Out Loud

I love it when "Sports Guy" Bill Simmons dips into the mailbag:
Q: If you had the No. 1 pick in a death pool draft, would you go with Britney Spears or Amy Winehouse?
-- Mike P., Morristown, N.J.

SG: I'll do this in super-intense, face-turning-red, Todd McShay mode ...

"Mike, Amy Winehouse has to to be the No. 1 pick. This girl has every tool you'd want: She's addicted to drugs; she has no concern about her own safety; she hangs out with other people who do drugs; and the song 'Rehab' feels like a self-eulogy every time she sings it! I judge my No. 1 picks in a death pool by one thing: If CNN reports that he or she died, would I be remotely surprised? In the case of Amy Winehouse? NO! I would not be surprised! As for Britney, her stock has been falling with GMs across the league -- she's finally getting help, she's on bipolar meds and she jettisoned some of the negative influences in her life. We're starting to hear whispers that she might drop out of the top five. I've had GMs tell me that Mary Kate Olsen and Dennis Rodman have moved ahead of Britney on their boards ..."
Heck, yeah.
Tags: humor, media, sports
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