• Empty two containers of Kansas City-style -- thick and sweet -- barbecue sauce into a saucepan and turn on the heat to medium. I used Trader Joe's "Natural Barbecue Sauce."The best thing about this sauce is that it really clung to the ____ I was grilling. Maybe the tapioca in the chile sauce helped. But it was like barbecue napalm.
• Add a shot glass -- or two -- of scotch, bourbon or other hard liquor of the "brown" sort. I used one of Seagram's and one of Applejack, which had been biding time in our store of supplies since a Thanksgiving dinner back in the early 1990s.
• Add a can of tomato sauce.
• Add the equivalent of six garlic cloves. I used the Israeli frozen cubes from Trader Joe's.
• Add a tablespoon of vinegar. I used apple cider vinegar.
• Add two tablespoons of a liquid sweetener, such as molasses or honey. I used this neat product I found at Trader Joe's last night, Blue Agave nectar.
• Add a teaspoon of soy sauce.
• Add a teaspoon of Tabasco sauce or equivalent.
• Add more red chiles to taste. I used this thick Thai-style chile sauce that Trader Joe's is presently selling, which gets its viscosity from tapioca. It worked great, because it didn't need to be reduced.
• Add the juice of one lemon.
• Slice two or three more lemons so that there are four slices per lemon. Put the slices into the sauce.
• Simmer until the liquor has given up its alcohol and the sauce has the density you desire.
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