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A few moments ago, I was excited to see one of the highly specific Google Alerts I've set up had appeared in my inbox. "Wow, I thought, maybe I'll finally get the lead I've been looking for. Or, even better, a contact who shares my research interests." And then I opened up the message: 
Somehow, I find this reality check deeply depressing. Increasingly, it seems like the thinking I most want to pursue is thinking I am destined to do all by myself for longer than I care to be alone. Tags: academy, autobiography, media, music, theory
Current Location: 85704
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For that matter, what, exactly, about the power Pitchfork has to legitimize indie artists interests you? From what angle are you approaching the phenomenon? Presumably, you see it as a good thing (insofar as it poses a challenge to the entrenched critical conduits that existed before the advent of the internet). As far as research is concerned, do it like a journalist; contact the guys who were there in the beginning: Ryan Schreiber, Matt Lemay and (my personal favorite, as far as reviewers are concerned) Brent DiCrescenzo. One issue that I personally have with pitchfork: certain artists are UNTOUCHABLE. (e.g. RADIOHEAD; they could record tohm yorke taking a dump and pitchfork would give it a 5+). This is a trend one sees in lots of popular critics, though (e.g. Roger Ebert won't deride ANYTHING Tarantino does; only something as egregious as Death Proof would FORCE him to bestow LESS than 5 stars; pulp fiction=5 stars; jackie brown....eh, 4.5; kill bill part 1=NO WAY that movie gets a 5, I'm sorry, but a line between pastiche and art HAS to be drawn somewhere)
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More Brent DiCrescenzo columns. This guy is the fucking MASTER of the "concept review" form; every time I rip on something in my blog, I keep this guy's columns in the back of my head. (1) "Now, with the early new century demanding "opuses," Tool follows suit. The problem is, Tool defines "opus" as taking their "defining element" (wanking sludge) and stretching it out to the maximum digital capacity of a compact disc."(2) "as the media has repeatedly pointed out, De-Loused in the Comatorium is supposed to be a chronicle of his life and death. This is a monumental case of the media blindly reviewing off their press kits-- there's absolutely no way of gleaning this story/idea/topic/concept/whatever in the hilariously awful, sub-Burroughs, refrigerator-magnet montage of dark PSAT words that make up this album."(3) "The majority of young bands are unsure of what they truly want their band to be, aside from famous"(4) <ahref="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/20391-the-fragile">:)))))</a> (5) hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH SHIT, man!!! Do research on Brent DiCrescenzo (who no longer writes for pitchfork, in fact--signaling their loss of integrity?); this man is a GOD of the derisive, agit-prop vis-a-vis lame-ass corporate music review. Get somebody to publish an anthology!!! Hell, even when I don't fully AGREE with a review he writes, I dig it: (6) On NYC Ghosts and Flowers: "Now, finally, my generation has its Metal Machine Music-- an unfathomable album which will be heard in the squash courts and open mic nights of deepest hell. At least Lou Reed had the good grace to keep his mouth shut on his grinding hallmark of pretentious ejaculation."When he LAUDS and album, he does so with equal aplomb: (7) "If indie rock is Greek mythology, June of 44 is Neptune."(8) Peep the Pynchon allusions; the dude has good taste(9) The only 10 he ever gave, if I recall(10) "Save Yourself smells like the '60s. It smells like leather Chevy seats soaked with ass sweat. It smells like incense and pepper. It smells like stems and seeds on a cardboard record sleeve. This greasy, haunted spectre of a record bears disturbed spirits of bands long dead, like the Doors, the Rolling Stones, and Prince."I'm a HUGE fan of the make-up (most of the postmodern "conept bands" of Ian Svenonius, really), so this is the review that sold me on the validity of his opinion. "This record can make even the most jaded Punk Planet columnist proud to be an American..." Don't let the gibe bias you, man!!
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I want co-authorship, and nothing less...hahaha, naw.
Read the dallas news article; it reminds me of somebody else's struggles, but who?
My plan, incidentally, was not to bury Pitchfork or to praise it
Is THIS the perception people have of me? That there are vindictive motives underlying my criticism?? This is only the case when I'm given an impetus to such an end due to others' behavior toward me, though I admit I oftentimes conflate the surrogate of the policy rather than the source (I'm workin' on it; I don't believe the administration influences term-paper grades, however).
Brent was THE reviewer up until his departure; really, his leaving represents the moment at which the whole thing SOLD OUT (which is, again, redolent of someone....)
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I admit I oftentimes conflate the surrogate of the policy WITH the source of the policy (I'm workin' on it; I don't believe the administration influences term-paper grades, however)
Sorry; I type as fast as the words come to me, and I edit what I write on the level of the SENTENCE, BEFORE completing them most of the time, which results in quite a few redundancy, syntax and subject-verb agreement errors in "rough," informal correspondence, and even in journal entries.
The "they" to whom I'm referring (with respect to MYSELF and not Dicrescenzo) either doesn't reveal itself to me, or it exists in my head (my own, personal trystero). The only thing I know for certain is that I used to both enjoy and do well in my literature classes until this semester and the one preceding it. Something had to have caused a change; somewhere there is somebody who can give me an answer. I can't be simply a matter of upper-division caliber work, because I took ENGL 418 and ENGL 472 concurrently LAST spring and did just fine.
Is it up to the instructor to implement reading quizzes, or is that a policy imposed from above, because it screws slow yet incisive readers like myself over (I should go to the DRC and get accommodation, perhaps?)
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It's all on the individual instructor. Even with GTA-administered discussion sections? When my TA in 373A told us that the class decisions were made "by committee," then, was he lying?
My recommendation is always to go speak with the professor in office hours when this sort of thing happens. Just tell him you've been a good student and are confused about why things are going so poorly this semester.
But will this SOLVE my problem, or just "mitigate" it. I don't need speed-reading tips or I need NO QUIZZES, or quizzes that accommodate my torpid pace! I read 15 pages/hr at TOP SPEED, man. THere's no way in hell I can get 120+ pages done in a 3 day span--two of which I'm required to work 8 hrs upon). Thank satan for spring break; otherwise, I'd be terminally FUCKED this semester!
.....really, here's the problem. I'm egalitarian; if I get a break, that's not FAIR to others. That's special treatment and it would make me feel guilty.
I've been with DRC for, like, 3 years, but I've never used it's services for this reason (and reasons of pride)
BOTTOM LINE: I think too much; any "stranger" who interacts with me socially can rest assured that I've thought out every (typically NEGATIVE) contingency before making the approach. I stay away lest my worst nightmare comes to pass
ANDY: Um, Dr. X, I had an appointment...?
PROF: Yes; I called you in here to tell you that you're washed-up, kid. Frankly, everything you write is so convoluted that reading your papers is an experience tantamount to analyzing linguistic field data; what the FUCK are you in this major for, you charlatan. THe last thing this department needs is to have its discourse adulterated by a another. fucking. PHILOSOPHER! You are a fucking scientist; why not take your god-damn "objectivity" and get the FUCK out of the modern languages building! Why are you wasting my god-damn time and money?.....
......this professor character is starting to bear an eerie resemblance to my father--in a state of SOBRIETY, no less.
Subsequent to this hypothetical meeting, Andy decides to cope the way he's ALWAYS coped with trauma: GOING TO THE MOVIES--an ESCAPE from reality.
Upon entering the theater, Andy notices that CHICA (20s, rarely-sees/has-never-conversed-in-person-with our protagonist before) is ther.
ANDY (VO): FUCK! I'm not prepared for this shit; I look like a fucking asshole; I look uncomfortable; I am uncomfortable....I'm nebbish, I am a fucking loser, I am not normal; I am going to fuck this up, unless I find cover, pronto! Fuck! Shit! Fuck, did she look over here, or...fuck it, just don't make eye contact and perhaps you can pass it off with a casual 'no shit? I didn't see you; I must look like SUCH an asshole,' the truth of which she'll find dubious at best and conclude that you're a fucking liar, just like most other dudes............
SEe, man; I'm totally fucked in life; franz kafka redux.
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