Charlie Bertsch (cbertsch) wrote,
Charlie Bertsch

"And I said, 'Yes, yes, yes."

As hard as things have been lately -- and as hard as they are likely to stay, for the next few months at least -- I feel like a lock has clicked open somewhere in my mind. While there may be something pathetic about returning to projects left unfinished five, ten or fifteen years ago, it remains a more rational use of my time than telling myself over and over that I need to start over. The paradox is that I've never been closer to the metaphoric "zero hour" than I am right now. This is when many people would be inclined to say, "Box it up and send it away," not bothering to discriminate between what was and wasn't worth saving. I always swore to myself that I would never let myself give in to that temptation. Perhaps I will, in the end. For now, though, I'm doggedly trying to sort what makes me breathe easier from what weighs me down. I can't be too specific here or now. But rest assured that, when the opportunity presents itself, I will make it clear what I have discarded and why. I can say, for starters, that I'm going to dispense with the conviction that it would be wrong to develop my talents in the most logical directions. There's a reason I have so much unfinished business. And it's the very same reason that I'm setting out to finish it now.
Tags: autobiography, everyday, metamorphosis

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