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The Grade Keeps Increasing and My Brakes Are Nearly Shot - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
The Grade Keeps Increasing and My Brakes Are Nearly Shot
Today I realized that I reached my intellectual peak in 1993. I'm not sure it has been downhill ever since -- I recall plateaus with the occasional rise along the way -- but the overall trend has not indicated an ascent to greatness. Bearing this depressing realization in mind, I have decided that I need to do a series of things to get back on track:
• Grow my remaining hair as long as I can
• Start smoking again
• Curl up on the sofa with a pint of Ben and Jerry's chocolate cookie dough ice cream and watch my tapes of MTV's 120 Minutes while fantasizing about Sarah McLachlan's dreamy raven-hued tresses
• Wear baseball caps backwards, even on "formal" occasions
• Read a lot of Pierre Bourdieu
• Listen to Pavement incessantly
• Spend long hours conversing about international literature on the sly
• Take a trip to the Pacific Northwest
• Eat more microwaveable meals
• Exercise less
• Live in a place where I can where chamois shirts
• Wear chamois shirts
• Start smoking again
• Wait, did I already mention that?
• Start smoking again
I'm hoping that, if I stick resolutely to these vows, that my chronic depression will turn into chronic productivity. Even better, when Sleater-Kinney comes on the scene again, I'll be ready to clip every mention of the band for my files. It would make the chapter I'm writing a lot easier if I'd done so the first time around.

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Current Location: 85704

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Comments
e_compass_rosa From: e_compass_rosa Date: July 14th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
All Sleater-Kinney all the time. That's what I say, but you knew that already.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: July 14th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I could certainly use something to dig me out. But I'm not sure a heart attack is the way to go. Hot rock is fine, though.
e_compass_rosa From: e_compass_rosa Date: July 14th, 2008 01:27 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It's enough for all hands on the bad one to dig me out, but it might be the end of you.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: July 14th, 2008 02:47 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Get up! Otherwise the party will be over before it's begun. Besides, don't you have a flush to show me?
celebrian_3 From: celebrian_3 Date: July 14th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I think you've got the Pavement listening and the trips to the Pacific Northwest covered ;-).

But what do I know? Maybe you're well on your way with all of them.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: July 14th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I've been exercising too much and smoking too little, though I have definitely increased my ice cream intake lately. Still, I will have to work hard to achieve my goal. But you're right: Pavement, the Pacific Northwest (and Pierre Bourdieu) are the items on my list in which I'm least in need of remedial education.
From: e4q Date: July 14th, 2008 10:54 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
that's a great list.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: July 14th, 2008 11:09 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Thanks! Unhealthiness seems to do me better than obsessive attention to my health. Or maybe I'm just old and/or doomed now.
From: e4q Date: July 14th, 2008 11:17 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
a_dialectic From: a_dialectic Date: July 14th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Portland baby, August 1st. Come out. We'll party all night!
From: babyiwasshot Date: July 14th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I've reached a similar point, yet I was contemplating quitting smoking for fear that it was depriving my brain of oxygen. Seeing as quitting didn't help you, I suppose I can keep on going.



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