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April 18th, 2008 - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
April 18th, 2008
I don't usually remember my dreams unless I'm getting more sleep than usual. And I'm bad about recording the ones I do remember. I just stumbled upon an entry from a few months ago, though, that I must have written immediately after waking up or, to be more precise, in that state when one is up without being fully conscious. I had no memory of writing this, but can remember the dream it documents with great clarity now that I've read what I wrote:
My super-detailed dream: I'm in a dense conifer forest. I want to say redwood, but it could also be from somewhere further north, with Douglas Fir and Sitka Spruce. As I typed that last sentence, though, I got a flash of the color of redwood. Maybe it's just the pine needles. But I'm thinking redwood. Anyway, I'm on the edge of the grove, which seems to be, if not crowded, then certainly with a good number of people in it. Like Muir Woods, perhaps. I look up and there are a bunch of people way high up in a tree. I don't see a platform, though I imagine that there is one. Curious about what the people are doing, I stare up. They seem to be strapping someone in. A young man. It looks like he's going to bungee jump. It seems foolhardy. Still, I look. I raise my camera and set it to the "movie" setting. As he begins his jump, I try to press record but there's a slight delay before the commencing of filming. I've lost the beginning, but get it going in time for the end. The camera angle shifts as I pivot to track his fall, he's going to go right over top of me, perilously close. And then he hits the ground, hard. The cord was too long. Is he dead? It seems likely. I look around, but no one seems to have noticed.
Indeed, I recall the dream so well now that I know my record of it was cut short for some reason. Maybe someone else woke up, depriving me of the focus I needed to finish the entry. Anyway, as the dream continued, I realized that the man who had jumped to his apparent death was still alive, though ambiguously so. Eventually, a crowd did gather around his non-corpse, but its members seemed absurdly relaxed given the circumstances. The light through the trees, bright there at the edge of the forest, gave everything a golden glow of "Whatever, dude." I suppressed my outrage at the lack of visceral response to the injured man's plight. That's when I was woken out of the dream.

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Comments
From: babyiwasshot Date: July 21st, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

reagan babies

This reads like an observation of a student on your part, given that I see my own generation's callousness in the response to the injured man's (student's?) plight. Read much Bret Easton Ellis? His novels, in my opinion, perfectly capture the essence of most members of my generation: terminally blasé. It's why I'm such a loner; when you read The Rules of Attraction (or worse, watch the film adaptation) and see the reflection of your generation (which is similar to Ellis's, I guess) from an objective point of view, you stop wanting to be a part of it.

Shit, this reads like a Kafka-esque allegory on the moral decay/nihilism of generation Y.

Then again, perhaps it's not so much generational as it's associated with the group of people with whom I used to associate, or perhaps I'm just filtering out all of the positive aspects of my generation in my appraisal, cynic that I am.

In any case, that is what your dream means to me, as though my take is relevant. haha
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: July 21st, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: reagan babies

Hmmm. Come to think of it, the jumper and his associates were of your age, more or less. But I remember the dream well enough to know that my outrage and confusion was not inflected in a generational way. Maybe I was pissing the point of the allegory my dream work was spinning. I did think, both during the dream and after I'd woken up, that my desire to record experience was implicated somehow in the distance with which his gruesome fate was met.
From: babyiwasshot Date: July 21st, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)

Re: reagan babies

I did think, both during the dream and after I'd woken up, that my desire to record experience was implicated somehow in the distance with which his gruesome fate was met.

Oh man, if you want to see a fine film that addresses similar themes check out the Beligan satire/faux-documentary Man Bites Dog, in which the film crew documenting the serial killer eventually becomes directly complicit in his acts, though they're arguably already complicit insofar as they're filming him rather than stopping him.



As for you dream work, I think it's a little too hard on you; the tendency to document these sorts of things without intervening is hard to resist, both in dream and reality. This is the age of the Jackass films, after all.
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