After I was done, I felt a strange sense of relief. And then I realized, with the sudden clarity that comes with wiping fog from a window, that it was actually my depression over the state of this country that had led, counter-productively, to my struggles to come up with material for the publication I've cared about more than anything else in my intellectual existence. More specifically, it was in attempting to write something about parenting and the 2004 Presidential election -- a piece that, while still not finished, now runs some 25,000 words -- that I felt my voice suddenly paralyzed.
While it's true that I've managed to write pieces for other publications in the interim, each assignment has been excruciatingly difficult for me. The words, which used to come so easily, have been absurdly hard for me to extract, like small objects at the bottom of a glass jar into which my fingers don't quite reach far enough. Even writing here has grown to be a chore, more often than not.
Who knows whether my sudden productivity today heralds a change for the better or not. I suspect that the results of tomorrow's Presidential election will factor significantly in how I feel about myself and the world in the months to come. What I do know, though, is that it felt good to find my groove this afternoon, however briefly.