Charlie Bertsch (cbertsch) wrote,
Charlie Bertsch

Meet Dave!

It may not be much in the grand scheme of things. In fact, it isn't much, a statement I can make, for once, with complete assurance that it represents an objective assessment. Where was I? Right: the not-muchness of the it, languorously deferred. In other words, "Meet Dave!" Who is that you ask? A what, I tell you. An under-$20 what selected and purchased this afternoon at IKEA despite the fact that I felt so dizzy I feared I would soon be looking up at stranger's faces saying, "What happened?" The purpose of Dave, you ask? He or, if you prefer, it is a smart red laptop table, composed of the same material as the cutting boards we have been using for years.

It's a little slippery and shakes at the application of pressure, to be sure, but in a way that pays homage to the most famous intellectual from its country of manufacture, Slovenia. What I like about it, aside from the fact that assembling it gave me a mild sense of accomplishment -- again, not much in the grand scheme of things -- on a day when the most insignificant tasks seemed beyond my reach, is that it permits me to write while sitting in a reclining position and elevating my legs, an outcome that I have ardently sought since last year's shin-melting bicycle accident, whose effects continue to plague me in the form of swelling of the ankle region. Oh, and because the small tabletop tilts, I can also use it for reading large hardcover books, like The Bible, that are too cumbersome to hold easily in my hands.

All in all, Dave promises to be a fine addition to my collection of devices that serve to make me forget the circumstances under which I am presently living. And that, good friends, is reason for a mild celebration, perhaps culminating in the consumption of the cornflake-studded Ritter square I found yesterday to my considerable surprise at Wal-Mart, as I roamed its vast and terrible aisles with the old woman who lives next door, whom I had consented to ferry there and back, since she is presently unable to drive. Aside from better options in the chocolate department than you might think, as well as an excellent assortment of romance novels set in Amish country, the pride -- or shame, depending on your point of view -- of Bentonville, Arkansas has the virtue of making other large emporia, such as IKEA, seem far more inviting than they otherwise might.

But I digress. Did I mention that I also picked up a stovetop espresso maker, to stand in temporarily for our dear, departed Starbucks-branded Saeco, and tried it out earlier, which led to the consumption of approximately five shots worth of bitter, black bliss? It took longer than I was hoping, but the results were potent and flavorful. That's why I was able to meet Dave tonight, despite the exhaustion that comes at the end of a day of feeling drear.
Tags: analysis, everyday, humor, shopping

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