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The Drive To Innovate - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
The Drive To Innovate
For better and worse, I'm the sort of person who feels the need to try something new even when the situation seems to call for mindless repetition of the same old formula. Take the cleaning of the kitchen floor, which I just finished. No matter how many times I complete this task, which I typically undertake every other week, I always seem to give it a new twist. Today I used a much wetter mop than I usually do, in part because I was trying to ward off the Definition of Trouble, also known as our kitten Punkabella, who is prone to attack anything that moves. But my decision took shape in a less practical impulse. I wanted to break with convention, even if what passes for convention in this case is merely the distillate of my own precedent. While such tinkering keeps my mind focused on the job, it also leaves me with a feeling of unease. Why can't I just mechanically reproduce the approach that works best?

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e4q From: e4q Date: August 10th, 2009 08:11 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
because. creativity.

this is why meditation doesn't get boring.
e4q From: e4q Date: August 10th, 2009 08:14 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
and while replying to your post i decided to stop listening to a programme about spies, and catch up on 'the romantic road; on the trail of the german philosophers' which is running on radio 4 at the moment.
flw From: flw Date: August 10th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I have a similar approach. Let's say I have a task that might take 20 minutes to do, like... cleaning the kitchen floor. I will sit on the computer for two hours reading blogs from all over the whole wor;d with a vague sense that I should be doing something else. Then I will walk past the kitchen eight or ten times looking at the floor with a vague sense of dread. Then after a few weeks of doing this every day. I will move a mop or a swiffer slightly closer to the kitchen. I will curse the fact that the mop is sitting out, reminding me that I have forgotten to mop the kitchen. Then the mop sort of fades into the background. Then I will spend maybe two weeks hating myself for not mopping the kitchen...

But I am multitasking as well. I am also hating myself for many, many other tasks in half-completed states. Then, the fact that I haven't completed one task becomes a reason why I can't complete another. I can't do the dishes, the floor is filthy. And if I do one thing it will just lead to a chain of doing other things, and I'll just spend my whole life cleaning like some kind of idiot.

Then the fact that I am not cleaning, but rather worrying about NOT cleaning becomes crippling. And I can't do any of the things that I should be doing in life, because I am worrying about all the time I spend worrying about not doing things...

Then I start thinking, "Well, I am getting fatter and fatter, and older and older, and I haven't accomplished anything in life. I am a total loser... and the floor's dirty."

I am not joking when I say it takes me a year to do ANYTHING. And then when I do it, all I can think is, "It took me a year to do that..." and I get no pleasure from anything at all.
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