Charlie Bertsch (cbertsch) wrote,
Charlie Bertsch

An Exercise In Fidelity

When I got home this evening, after a very long day on top of a very short and fitful sleep, I put the groceries away and then went in to my home office to do some work. Thirty minutes later I realized, abruptly, that I'd been sleeping at the keyboard. I got up, wandered out to the kitchen with the intention of getting ready for dinner, and then got sidetracked by an irresistible urge to put my feet up. Two hours late, I awoke, fully dressed -- and with my shoes still on -- to realize that I'd missed dinner and all of the other familial responsibilities bound up with the pre-bedtime hours.

Had I been less dazed, I would have felt more guilty. As it was, I said good night, then began to do the dishes, belatedly, in an effort to get myself awake enough to accomplish a little before heading back to bed. Shortly after 11pm, I suddenly remembered that I had a deadline to submit a paper proposal for a conference I'd really love to attend. I'd meant to do it earlier this week. But with being sick and dealing with a very difficult car-in-the-shop situation, I never got around to it.

My first, second and third thoughts were to blow the abstract off. I have other proposals to submit by the fifteenth. And my wits are scattered far and wide right now, what with the start of the semester and everything else that's going on. Yet I somehow mustered the strength, despite intense internal resistance, to write the damned thing. It probably won't get accepted, since my topic is not very sexy. What matters, though, is that I still went through the motions of submitting it in the first place.
Tags: analysis, autobiography

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