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Body Memories - De File
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Body Memories
I just walked across the parking lot where, a few weeks shy of nine years ago, I was overcome by shaking so violent that I couldn't get my key into the lock on the car door. Earlier in the day, I'd left Scandinavian Designs on Highway 4 near Concord, already feelng very poorly. But then I had still possessed the coordination necessary to load several long, heavy flat-pack boxes of furniture into the station wagon. Less than seven hours later, I stood shivering and increasingly desperate for fifteen minutes before I finally got the door locked and could go inside to Borders to use the bathroom and get a coffee. I hadn't been back until tonight and the flashbacks coursing through me are almost too much to bear. It's no exaggeration to say that the bug I had in November, 2000 wrought profoundly negative long-term effects on my life, ones I still deal with on a daily basis. It's enough to make me shiver all over again, even though I'm not sick.

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mhkrabat From: mhkrabat Date: October 18th, 2009 12:32 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
While I can't give an example, perhaps due to memory repression, I have experienced similar events and it downright sucks. Perhaps it's a strain of Post-Traumatic Stress? It's amazing what we can endure.

Here's hoping all is now well.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: October 19th, 2009 06:15 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
It's much better now, though my respiratory system will always be my weak point. I guess it was even before that illness, though, so it was more a case of my natural flaw being exploited.

In the end, though, I did feel better after staying around in that plaza for a bit. Going into Borders and looking at books when I wasn't sick helped.
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