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Three Poems - De File — LiveJournal
Does Collecting Make You Feel Dirty?
cbertsch
cbertsch
Three Poems
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celebrian_3 From: celebrian_3 Date: February 25th, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
She's writing poetry like this at eleven? She never ceases to amaze me.

There's some terrific lines in there. I really like: " . . . where pencils and erasers are sorted / by their own pleasures / a fraction of apples and oranges." Such a subtle way of pointing out the smallness and sameness of which cliques are made. Astonishing.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: February 25th, 2010 08:05 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Yes, I was pretty impressed, even though I'm with her all the time. She's in one of those phases, not just confined to infancy, when great strides are made in a short period of time. And that line about the pleasures was my favorite, too. That whole poem is structured around some very complicated metaphors. I told her she'd need to revise it, make it less abstract, if she wanted it to make sense to her teachers. Revision is a good habit to learn. But, damn, when a ten-minute draft comes out that good!
elizabeg From: elizabeg Date: February 26th, 2010 03:15 am (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
Wow.

Also: I think that was my favorite line too. But now I can't remember because I am floored by the wow.

Also: yes, revision is good to learn. But still please tell her for me that although you are probably correct about her teachers and also (perhaps sadly) about a lot of the world, there is much to be said for so-called abstraction, in poetry as in the visual arts.

10 minutes?! Wow. Wow wow wow.
cbertsch From: cbertsch Date: March 1st, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC) (LINK TO SPECIFIC ENTRY)
I have told her. We already have had several conversations about her current homeroom teacher's failure to appreciate the deconstruction of the metonymy-metaphor distinction that Skylar came up with in October. It's funny. She has won a poetry award at school almost every year. But I think she may now be approaching the point at which her aptitude is a liability in such contests. I hope not. Still, experience suggests that it's likely.

(Sorry for the delay in replying; I have been overwhelmed with catching-up since I got back to Tucson.)
6 comments or Leave a comment