In light of the rich and rewarding project that e_compass_rosa has started, I have been wondering how to articulate the weight that I carry around with me. The problem, to state it as plainly as I can, is that the weight I struggle with the most is a kind of weightlessness. To be sure, I have been carrying an awful lot in recent years. But what undoes me, time and time again, is the feeling that I have been removed from my own life like the fat that shoots up the tube during liposuction. Even the weight that I impose on others is cut out of the picture. Although I know the ostensible reasons for being "disappeared" in this manner, I still find myself being persuaded that I'm not really here. That shiver I used to get looking through photo albums in which I rarely appear, because I was taking the picture, has now become my primary response to the world.