so good about myself that I wanted
to punish you. When you held me,
I was scared. I struggled to do enough
to please, self-destructively. We came
to fear causing displeasure, centered
on the wrong things. Root out the
blame! Our mutual commission to
descry symptoms was not sharing,
just scheming for power. Did you
understand why I was trying to express
that I wasn't good enough as I was?
I never wanted the attention. Pressure
to connect was enormous. And tedious.
You were frustrated by my seeming
inability to assert a worldview. But
I saw myself reflected in your hurt.